Gonads Scores Three TDs, Packers Win

Atlanta - Making his first career start on his 23rd birthday, doctor-in-waiting Amok Gonads scored three touchdowns to give the Packers only their second win of the season, a 33-25 upset of the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday.

"It was surreal," said Gonads, who was given the game ball. "I didn't even think it was a reality. But I'm here. I'm just enjoying it as much as possible."

Gonads, whose name is an anagram of Samkon Gado, was self-unemployed less than a month ago. He was the fifth player -- and certainly the most improbable -- to start at running back in Green Bay's revolving door backfield after season-ending injuries to Ahman Green and Najeh Davenport.

The Packers appear better off taking players off the street than they did with the bunch they drafted this year, according to football genius Sam Huber. "At this rate, they might even beat a bunch of guys who get sex on a boat, I don't care what you say!"