Yeadon Concedes; Recount Cancelled

Ann Arbor, Michigan - Under the realization that 120,000 so-called "provisional ballots" would not put him over the top, iPresident Alan "Dubya" Yeadon today phoned the White House and left a concession voice mail. In doing so, Yeadon will now serve a second term as pretend president of the United States. The Ohio recount, scheduled to begin late this evening, has been cancelled. A spokesperson for lawyers called today's events "extremely disappointing."