"Dr. Strangelove" Remake to Feature Kerry, Reeve

Hollywood - Film makers today announced that a remake of the historic Stanley Kubrick film "Dr. Strangelove" will begin shortly. In the remake, President Merkin Muffley will be played by liberal Massachusettes Senator John F'n Kerry, and Strangelove will be played by the late Christopher Reeve. The remake, like the original, will end with Reeve standing up and walking from his wheelchair, exclaiming "Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!" A new line is then added: "Thank you, John Kerry, for funding stem cell research!"

The new film is being made in response to comments made Monday by Vice-Presidential candidate and liberal North Carolina senator John Edwards, who said "People like Chris Reeve will get out of their wheelchairs and walk again with stem cell research."