Bayer Introduces Bactine Anti-Terrorism Spray

Pittsburgh - Bayer U.S. today announced the introduction of the newest extension of its popular Bactine product: Bactine Anti-Terrorism Spray. According to a press release, the new Bactine spray "provides soothing infection protection for the entire family" and temporarily relieves the nuisance itching caused by cuts, scrapes, mosquito bites, and terrorism.

A spokesperson from Bayer stated that the new product was introduced in response to recent comments by liberal Massachusettes Senator John F'n Kerry. In a recent New York Times Magazine interview, Kerry stated ''We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives but they're a nuisance.'' He said that terrorism couldn't be ended but could be reduced to where "isn't threatening people's lives every day.''