Yeadon Demands Changes to New Florida Voting System

Palm Beach County, Florida - iPresident Alan "Dubya" Yeadon responded to reports today that Florida residents, barely able to figure out a simple ballot four years ago, will choose their president this year by flipping a two-headed voting coin. The coin, developed by Chicago-based advertising art studio Condon Randis, Inc., features President George W. Bush on one side and U.S. Senator John F'n Kerry on the other.

"I demand a three-sided coin!" Yeadon responded angriliy after he found the coin advertised on geeks.com, his favorite web site.

The coin voting system will replace the infamous "butterfly ballot" that gave Jewish people a way to vote for Pat Buchannan.

Yeadon lost Florida by a substantial margin in 2000, but refused to give up and still pretends to be president to this day. It is widely believed that some people, such as Al Gore, are still counting votes in Florida.