Barak Fung Speech Electrifies Convention

Yeadon, Pennsylvania - Yeadon Political Convention delegates here are buzzing over the keynote speech given by Barak Fung, the dashing, young, articulate, walk-on-water state senator from the Souf.

"Absolutely sensational!" claimed former UN Ambassador Alan "3%" Keyes, the man who may oppose Fung in the US Senate race in November. Keyes' nickname is derived from the fact that no matter who he opposed in a presidential election, he'd usually get about 3% of the vote.

Other delegates used words like "Uplifting!" "Motivational!" and "He's almost white!"

It is unclear exactly what Barak Fung said in his speech. "Everyone was too electrified to listen," said CBS newsman and democratic cheerleader Dan Rather.

"Not a clue what he said. Isn't he fantastic?" claimed NBC's Tom Brokaw.

The Yeadon political convention continues tonight. Speaking tonight will be the iPresidential candidate's wife, Teresa Heinz Yeadon.