Yeadon Engineering Prepares to Fix Levee Breach

New Orleans - Frustrated by the Army Corps of Engineers response to a 200-yard levee breach near the 17th Street Canal, New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin this morning awarded a no-bid contract to Yeadon Engineering, Energy, and Levee Breach Repair Services (YEELBRS) to plug the hole that has flooded the city.

"Maybe there is way too many frickin' ... cooks in the kitchen," Nagin said this morning in a phone interview with WAPT-TV in Jackson, Mississippi, "but I've heard Al-Boy Yeadon cleans his dishes before he sits down to eat. This is the kind of prioritization I value!"

According to the mayor, Black Hawk helicopters were scheduled to pick up and drop massive 3,000-pound sandbags in the 17th Street Canal breach, but were diverted on rescue missions. Nagin said neglecting to fix the problem has set the city behind by at least a month.

"I had laid out like an eight-week to ten-week timeline where we could get the city back in semblance of order. It's probably been pushed back another four weeks as a result of this," Nagin said (I am not making this part up - eBzky).

Those New Orleans residents whose lives were saved by the Corps could not be reached for comment. Also no word if Nagin has professional certification in project management.

In separate facilities in Michigan and Yukon Territory, Al-Boy Yeadon and his father, Bill Herbert Walker Yeadon, were reportedly preparing large batches of chocolate chip cookie dough, which can be poured on the levee from helicopters above.

Meanwhile, disingenuous filmmaker Michael Moore is already preparing a new documentary film based on the hurricane and its aftermath. In the movie, Moore will again use a combination of film and fiction to show how President Bush created the disaster in order to enrich to his buddies at Halliburton and YEELBRS.